Episode 45: Bust That Mean Girl
Good morning everyone, and welcome to Sparkle School, where together, we access our innate, iNtuitive wisdom as unique, self-valuing, and deeply Feeling women … and share who we are becoming in a safe, sensitive community.
We all know that we’re living in an upside-down world that is moving so very fast that many people are acting before thinking. Such actions are prompted by outside pressures and do not honor our own needs and preferences. Unfortunately, they are very, very common in our Sensing-Majority-doing-for-the-sake-of-doing culture, and that is partly because as a society, we have lost, or perhaps never developed, our collective ability to be self-reflective, that is to listen to what we are saying to ourselves.
Here’s great news, though! As rare, iNtuitive-Feeling type women, we are naturally wired to be self-reflective. We relate, quite readily, to the idea that we have two basic sets of voices in our heads; our inner voice of doubt and fear, and our positive, iNtuitive voice of wisdom and possibility thinking.
In Sparkle School, let’s call our inner doubt and fear voice our MeanGirl. Others might call her the saboteur, the gremlin, or the shadow voice. By contrast, let’s call our positive, self-honoring, iNtuitive-insight voice WhisperWoman, to acknowledge the fact that she is often heard, at first, only as a whisper.
Both voices––MeanGirl and WhisperWoman––are highly creative, but the difference in how, and what, they create is huge. Obviously our doubt-and-fear-based, MeanGirl is governed by our negative emotions. She creates negative thoughts that often result in reactive choices and actions. When she has us in her grip, we might want to pick a fight, or run away. Or, she may fill our mind with so much confusion, that we freeze and feel we have no choices at all. However, as highly compassionate iNtuitive-Feeling women, it is highly likely that whenever we let MeanGirl take over our mind, we interrupt our process of self-reflection, and focus, instead, on the needs, deeds, and agendas of others.
We can get side-tracked here, for decades, if not for an entire lifetime, in a gloppy mix of rescuer and victim. Our Sparkle Sister, Wendy, learned and shared a word that ‘nails’ this skewed focus we can attach onto other people. She called it ‘fawning.’ Can’t you just feel the sickening, creepy, kowtowing energy of that word fawning? And yet, many of us recognize it immediately, as the divestment of self we feel when we give, give, give ourselves to others while neglecting our own needs.
One of the main roles for MeanGirl is to run what we call the ‘judge everything’ game. As iNtuitive-Feeling type women, we know this game all too well. It starts when we are constantly judged … from day one … by the Sensing-Majority culture in which we live. We are members of a very small minority, so we are different. ‘Different’ is scary to the Sensing-Majority culture that seems to want everyone to look, act, and think pretty-much alike. Unfortunately, this constant judgment from our culture feeds MeanGirl a steady diet of self-doubt, which grows, silently and invisibly, inside of us from early childhood. Let’s move on to our journal prompts to learn more.
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